I want love, I want success, in that order. That is, if it was that easy.
Love is a special feeling that nothing else can match. The feeling of love makes you angry, happy,or better yet, bipolar. That's the best part. Compared to everything else in life, for example food, love can make you feel differently every moment. Love reminds me that the best part about life is its imperfections. Life can be on your side today, but tomorrow take you through hell. It's like riding a roller coaster... is it going down, turning or what? Then, you blink and it's the end of the roller coaster. Love moves so fast that you forget about time, the ups and down, and just take it for what it is. If you think about it, we accept life for the pain in the butt that it is, just like we accept the complexity of love. You get out of it, what you put in. There is no time for confusion, you want it or you don't. If anything, love holds us accountable to who we are, which is why love is afar from some of our lives; And that's said in a situational way.
Better said, love requires the things that we oversee. Truthfully, love is about more than you (and me). Love is about truth. The truth in feelings, affection, commitment, and resiliency. Through feelings, you show your admiration to the person that is special to you. Affection is empowered by your feelings. The more affection you give, the more feelings you share with the person. In regards to commitment, it speaks for itself. You either have loyalty or you don't. Lastly, through resiliency you show your ability to move past hard rocks in your relationship. Love is complex, so resiliency is the ultimate challenge in every relationship. When the love gets tough, what do you do? Do you run or resolve your part in the relationship? Sometimes, its best to do both. However, that's another topic for another day... Love is always on my mind, because I believe in it. I believe that it will give me special happiness. Put it like this, I want love.
Being able to spell, means you're a success right? Yeah, true, if you're ten years old. On the verge of 20 years old, success looks differently and means something way more complicated than ABC's and 123's. There is no standard for success, besides the one we set for ourselves. For example, Oprah Winfrey. After she accomplished her very popular talk show, she ventured on and established her own television network. Of course, her network wasn't an immediate hit because all things take work. Basically, success wasn't given to Oprah when she launched her network and success will not be given away to you either. The bottom line is, when you want to achieve something, work to achieve it and you will achieve it. Ambition is a powerful feeling because its empowered by motivation and commitment. The energy that motivation and commitment provide is astounding!
We can want this and that, but what are we going to do to get those things?
How much do you truly love your life?
This might be the very first time you have been asked this question, but you could really be asking yourself this every day. Our decisions and choices create the world we inhabit. It is possible, if you aren't paying attention to where it is all going, that you may end up somewhere you never actually intended to go. While there are no quick fixes, there are a few adjustments you can make to start your journey and get back on the right path to loving your life.
If we are to love our lives we need to be spending a lot of our time and energy on things that are important to us. Yet often, we make decisions and say "yes" to things that take away our time as well as our energy.
For you to move forward, it may be well to commence by thinking about what the top three priorities in your life really are. If your answer is family, creativity, and adventure, for example then it might be hard to live a life where you are doing little more than boring, repetitive tasks, and missing out on important time with your loved ones. Does your life, your work, your home, actually reflect you and your priorities?
Get your diary out and take charge of your schedule.
Bring what you value the most into what you do. If you adore cooking and you're an office worker, bring home-made snacks to work for your colleagues to enjoy. For those who are missing out on family time, check if you are able to free up a little more non-negotiable time to spend with your kids and partner every week. Start with small beginnings. Spend an extra hour here and there on things that are deemed important to you. Make your time work for you.
2. Manage Expectations
So often people make themselves sick with misery simply because their lives are not meeting their expectations. It could be that your partner isn't the fairy tale soul mate you always fantasized about. Perhaps your job isn't the career that you thought it would be when you were younger. It could be that you are living day to day at an age when you thought you would be financially more independent.
There is no need to lessen your expectations of a happy, content life. But in these scenarios it can be helpful to sit down and figure out whether unhappiness is the direct result of a situation that isn't helping you, or if you are contrasting your life with a fantasy. Accepting people, jobs and life for what they are at this moment can be a healing experience for many. Your companion, husband or wife may not be the perfect soul mate you dreamed about - but comparing them to someone else will simply make you both miserable.
3. Count What's There - Not What's Missing
Remind yourself about everything that is good in your life. What does your partner do better than anyone else? What does your work provide you that you've stayed in it all this time? What made you choose this job in the first place? Some of the best things in life are not the strategies that come to fruition, but the surprises that the process brings with it.
4. Take Time Out
Even if your life is fantastic, everyone needs a break once in a while. You may have a job you love or have a wonderful family, but too large a serving of a good thing can be bad for you. Fatigue sets in, you begin to feel worn out, resentful, and wonder about changing your situation. Maybe nothing is wrong with your situation - you just need to step back and take a breather.
Research shows that people gain much more benefit before their holiday than during or after the holiday. This has led researchers to suggest that anticipation of a holiday is as important as the holiday itself. Plan and schedule regular vacations, spread out your annual leave to several shorter holidays distributed throughout the year, and get regular mini-breaks in the form of a night out with friends, weekend camping trips to get a change of scenery, and taking time to just be by yourself and do absolutely nothing at all.
Time spent alone is important for mental and emotional well-being. Take more control over your daily schedule and plan for regular alone time. Take yourself on a date to a cafe, do the gardening, go for a run, or embark on an adventure.
5. Find Your Passion
Experiencing passion is an important portion of living a full and meaningful life. Inject passion into each day, even weekdays when you have to work and don't feel particularly passionate. If you look hard enough, you will always find some aspect to be passionate about.
When passion is lacking, it can be re-ignited by your favorite food, taking a course, or a night out with mates. Passion can flow from anywhere - it can be reading, creativity, saving animals, participating in sports, your friends, or visiting distant countries. Passion can come from something quite modest, like cooking a new dish. There isn't any right or wrong. Notice that evoke true excitement from within you, and also notice what kind of person inspires you.
What famous or notable person do you most wish you could be like? This might be the first step in realizing how to live the life you love. If you genuinely aren't sure what your passions are, start with a fresh slate and learn something new.
Take a course in something you're curious about; visit a new city; experiment with exotic dishes; start meeting new people, or check online and start following blogs on specific subjects that draw your attention. Many of the world's finest chefs, writers, artists, designers, architects, athletes, innovators and entrepreneurs blog regularly about their thoughts, ideas and advice.
6. Learn to Love Yourself
Discovering a life you love is only possible if you are able to love yourself. This does not mean arrogance or denying that you have faults. Loving yourself is more or less being your own best friend, a person who embraces you on both good days, and bad days when things don't go to plan.
Acknowledge and accept your flaws and shortcomings, but resolve to look after yourself well. You have the right to be loved and treated well, by yourself and by others. You deserve a good life that makes you happy. Not because you are perfect, but because you are flawed and human, and even though you may find it difficult sometimes, you still deserve to be treated with kindness and compassion.
This isn't always easy. We don't necessarily learn to be good to ourselves while growing up. It is a skill that grows with time, and will keep on growing stronger provided we work at it. And the greater amount of love we give to ourself, the less we will have to run around fixing problems or struggling to find solutions. Loving your life can become a habit.
Above all, foster an 'attitude of gratitude' for the gift that is your life, and for everything there is in it. It may not be perfect, but it is yours -- and now is the time to live it.
Honorable Mention: Peter James Field
In May 2011 (when I was 16) I created a video titled, "Hands Down" for my charity the Coalition for Peace of America. I haven't watched it for nearly four years, but the video is still meaningful as violence continues to ruin and run our lives. If you don't stand for anything, please consider standing for peace.
Humble means having or showing a modest or low estimate of one's own importance. That means not allowing your accomplishments, appearance, connections or social status bighead you. Regardless of the success that you have, in your own right, you are no better than anyone. Not to say that you're accomplishments are worthless, but you can damage the worth of your hard work. How? When you allow them to conceit you into the perception that they (your accomplishments) establish you as "better" than other people. Truth is, you are not. Accept this or not, success only defines your work ethic and your talent. Understand that or not, your accomplishments worth are determined by how you grow them from. Every move that you make --personally or professionally-- should be to better your life, better yourself, or in other words to grow. And as you grow, humbleness becomes even more important.
As you grow, personally and professionally, the big picture is clearer than ever. Instead of seeing accomplishments and success in general as money, these things are seen as opportunities to boaster your resume, experience, talent and worth in the world. Even more, accomplishments are milestones that can help identify where you are in terms of reaching your goals and/or dream. As I go on and on about accomplishments, the bottom line is that being humble is not about understanding that you're not better than anyone else, but that your accomplishments, appearance, connections and social status are unessential to what really establish your success, attractiveness, likability or popularity. Regardless of how popular you are, you are not better than anyone else. Truth is, you are most likely popular because you are attractive. Accept this or not, you aren't the only attractive person in the world. Understand that or not, appearance fades.
Look at me, for example. I'm not the most popular guy on social media, in which I realize and accept the fact. Now does that mean I look down on myself? No, never will I. Everyday I work hard to advance in life by achieving goals and learning from the experiences along the way. Truth is, the goals that I set for myself are not the same goals that other people set for themselves. See it as shade, but it's the truth. I always tell myself that the growth of oneself can be seen through his priorities. As I sight the big picture, I don't see social media as a common denominator to whether or not I'm successful. However, I do entertain myself when I allow other people to think so. The point that I hope you understand is that as long as you're humble, your hard work will speak for itself.
If nothing else spotlight you, your success will.
To be humble means you work hard to play hard. When you know that you want something, such as a car, your own apartment or whatever it may be, you hustle to make it happen. To be humble means you celebrate quietly. Instead of bragging to the world about what you have, you let the payoff talk for itself. Lastly, to be humble means you're grateful. Sometimes success can give you more than what you ever could've imagined. It's fair to say, regardless of how hard you work, God deserves just as much credit for what you have and where you are today. On the contrary, it's not always easy being humble when you have people stuck in their own egos and personal interest. However, you should embrace the ungratefulness of other people, because you know that what you've worked hard for has more worth than their ego. If one thing is true, your accomplishments can even look better than you... so just imagine how your accomplishments strip your haters ego apart.
-- Currently imagining my haters face expression as I pass them by. Hi.
Wrapping up, feel beautiful about yourself but never allow the feeling of beauty demise your character or your personality. Looks can be deceiving as your character and personality establish your true beauty. I don't know about you, but I choose to be sexy on the inside and out. I always ask myself, "Why be sexy, and have the worst personality ever and no character?" There's no reason to be sexy and have the worst personality ever. And there's defiantly no reason to be sexy and have no character. I was watching television for the first time the other day and this woman said, "You're treated better when you're pretty. It's the truth." For a woman that may be the case but I cannot confirm that as man. However, I would hope that regardless of how a person looks, they're still treated with respect and dignity. More so, I can confirm that the attention you receive is astounding when you're attractive. It may not always be the attention that you want, but it do come with some great unforeseen benefits. Don't believe me ask some of your Instagram celebrities.
Work hard, play hard, humbly.
What happens when you're asked "what if" questions?
What happens after you've been cheated on?
I'm not sure exactly. I'm crazy, so I might just do something crazy. Infidelity is one of those things that can cause so much anger to a person and it shouldn't be tolerated at all. I believe that if you know that you cannot and will not be faithful, then you shouldn't lead someone on that can and will be faithful to you. I hear people all the time say that they told the person that they didn't want a relationship or that they cannot be faithful, but the truth is, what matters is your actions. You can tell a person one thing, but show them differently. It's unfair to tell a person that you don't want nothing MORE than friendship, but keep them around for more than reasons of friendship.
What happens after you've lost some money?
I try to find the money, of course. If I cannot find it, I make sure I go earn double of what I've lost.
What happens after you've had success in something?
Unfortunately, I don't celebrate, just cheer. There's always another goal to achieve, so my grind is everlasting, even after the utmost success. When you settle for what you think is enough, you belittle yourself. Why? You didn't master your full potential. Why is that important? Mastering your full potential helps you discover your greatness. It's one thing to strive for success, but to build accomplishments you have to have goals. Think about this: How can you be successful if you don't even know what you aim to be successful at?
What happens after you've received a bad/inappropriate remark?
I would not react. Just like people spread rumors about you to see how react, they say rude things to get your attention. It's pathetic, but you should understand that not everyone was raised to respect, to get respect.
What happens after you've received a word from Jesus?
I would take his word and thank him for having his hands on me. Amen.
What happens after you meet a person that love you like you do?
Sigh. I would say, 'I never saw this day coming.' Having a person that love you just as much as you love yourself or even more is a blessing. So many people think short-term, so relationships don't last to experience the long-term benefits and happiness that love offers. Therefore, when I meet that person, the sky will be the limit.
Have a "what happens after" question? Tweet it @KeandreCurry